Monday, November 18, 2013

The Music

Walking through the cold, driving wind towards home.
Tripping off the subway platform, stumbling up the stairs to the street.
Tech telling you it's ten minutes until the next bus.
You're relieved.
An excuse to set out into the cold. Another walk home.
I put my earbuds in and turn on some tunes.
The end of the night.
The music brings the end of the night. 
Tonight is transformed into five years ago, ten years ago. Ten years from now.
I'm no longer present.
Just a piece in this puzzle with no past, no future, no now.
Only the music means anything.
Only the pictures it pushes on me, on the backs of my eyes.
Only the pictures paint love, pain, memory.
I lose everything, all at once.
None of this means anything anyway, this road, this concrete.
None of it is eternal.
It's all a joke, everything we see. 
We drown it all because we're too fucked to face it.
Place importance on nothing at all.
But the movies in my mind when the music plays.
The tightness around my heart.
And the pure pain of emotion.
That's real.
Walking through the cold, driving wind towards home.
Facing the icy reality.
The cracks in the road.
The crumbling pillars of the earth.
This endless journey that could last all night.
Avoidance.
But it's a slap in the face.
And the rawness of it all.
It makes us strong.
(is what we tell ourselves...)