I have been reading a little lately about self love, and I'm seriously starting to see how insanely important this is. Like many (most?) women, I have always suffered from a degree of self depreciation, those thoughts that I am never good/pretty/smart/funny/thin/cool/interesting enough...and the list goes on and on and on.
Over the last couple years though, I've finally been busting out of this more and more. I'm not there yet, not sure if I'll ever truly and completely be there, but I know I can be damn well close. I've posted before about treating yourself the way you would wish your 'child self' to be treated, and since then I've been building on these beliefs. It really comes down to this: if you wouldn't tell a child the things you tell yourself, then you shouldn't be saying them at all. You were a child once, and that child is still in you, so why would you ever tell yourself that you are too fat/stupid/ugly...etc etc? All you are doing is looking directly into the eyes of your child self, and telling her these things. It's horrible and it's hurtful.
I'm realizing that it isn't as hard as you might think to take a path of self love. Of course, I still feel awkward and obsessively aware of how I'm being perceived when I'm out in public, but I'm also finding a balance between that, and simply not caring anymore. Truth be told, most people are far to busy judging themselves, and worried about how they look to outsiders to be at all concerned with how you look. So cut yourself a break.
Next time you start shit talking yourself (even if only in your own mind) stop and think: would you say those things to your best girlfriend? To your sister, mother or grandmother? Well then why do you think it's ok to say these things to yourself? The answer: it's not ok.
Now, if I'm at a party or out in any social situation, and I begin to feel too self aware, self judgmental and the shyness begins to creep in, I don't tell myself off about it or pretend to be someone I'm not. I simply just let myself feel how I feel, and accept that that's ok. I'm human, we're all human, and believe it or not, we all suffer from the same basic afflictions. So let's all just be kinder to ourselves, and to each other. Feel the love, show the love, love yourself and love those in your life.
**All photos by Elena Kalis**