Monday, March 14, 2011

Just a Little *Important* Post

I have been reading a little lately about self love, and I'm seriously starting to see how insanely important this is. Like many (most?) women, I have always suffered from a degree of self depreciation, those thoughts that I am never good/pretty/smart/funny/thin/cool/interesting enough...and the list goes on and on and on.

Over the last couple years though, I've finally been busting out of this more and more. I'm not there yet, not sure if I'll ever truly and completely be there, but I know I can be damn well close. I've posted before about treating yourself the way you would wish your 'child self' to be treated, and since then I've been building on these beliefs. It really comes down to this: if you wouldn't tell a child the things you tell yourself, then you shouldn't be saying them at all. You were a child once, and that child is still in you, so why would you ever tell yourself that you are too fat/stupid/ugly...etc etc? All you are doing is looking directly into the eyes of your child self, and telling her these things. It's horrible and it's hurtful.

I'm realizing that it isn't as hard as you might think to take a path of self love. Of course, I still feel awkward and obsessively aware of how I'm being perceived when I'm out in public, but I'm also finding a balance between that, and simply not caring anymore. Truth be told, most people are far to busy judging themselves, and worried about how they look to outsiders to be at all concerned with how you look. So cut yourself a break.

Next time you start shit talking yourself (even if only in your own mind) stop and think: would you say those things to your best girlfriend? To your sister, mother or grandmother? Well then why do you think it's ok to say these things to yourself? The answer: it's not ok.

Now, if I'm at a party or out in any social situation, and I begin to feel too self aware, self judgmental and the shyness begins to creep in, I don't tell myself off about it or pretend to be someone I'm not. I simply just let myself feel how I feel, and accept that that's ok. I'm human, we're all human, and believe it or not, we all suffer from the same basic afflictions. So let's all just be kinder to ourselves, and to each other. Feel the love, show the love, love yourself and love those in your life.

**All photos by Elena Kalis**

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Waiting for More Rain

Springtime is so close! I actually want more rain now to wash away the pretty white snow (that I wished for months ago) I want high park and the beach and the lake (which unfortunately we can't swim in) and patios and evening walks surrounded by the sound of crickets.

As lethargic as I've been feeling, I do want to make some plans to make the ol' life a better one heading into the summer. This winter was a whirlwind of new activities for me (singing lessons, cello performance, indie film crew volunteering, first house purchasing) and I want to build on these things. I'm realizing how nice it can be to have a full schedule because it forces me out there, even when I'm feeling less inclined to leave the warm comfort of home.

Yoga would be nice. Building up better relationships with my good friends (and also a couple old friends I haven't seen in years) Writing more (of course), possibly finding the time to take cello lessons (although that would be a lot of practice time between that and singing lessons). I've come up with a personal four week spiritual cleanse idea that I just need to design a bit better for myself.

Sadly this year, I don't believe there will be too many trips taken, as the money I make will be going into the new house. However, I have come up with the idea to finally take myself up on my wishes, and spend a week or two (during my summer vacation) up north working and living at the beautiful organic bakery in Lion's Head. I love baking and I'm craving nature, so they seem to go hand in hand.

These are just a few fun shots that Shayne and I did yesterday afternoon. Ok I had nothing to do with them, I just stood there with an umbrella! All genius is his.